Oh wow guys, i'm so sorry didnt see all the replies, didnt think people still reply to this work lol

i'll try to be of some help.
Lighting is made with sun + portals + wom arclights + photographic exposure. this was made with xsi 2010 so the cm^2 factor was at 10.000. In that case i had to crank up the wom arclights value high because they need to be higher if the cm^2 factor is at 10k.
When i use the sun and sky in 2011 i just leave it to cm^2 factor at 1, and use photometric lights, especially wom arclights since dev seems to be lazy to let us have the photometric lights switch shadows on and off, thats why i still use wombat ones. But you know, when it comes to mental ray its a doomvoid.
Anyway you shouldnt bother with pumping stuff too much, the cm^2 factor is good at 1 or 10.000 you need to adjust evertything with the ISO, and Fstop factor. So if cranking up your portals or lights in scene makes thing blown out, rise up the fstop or reduce ISO.
The setup i usually use is this, cm^2 factor at 1, portal lights i dont mind cranking them up since its no problem, wombat lights they work perfect with cm^2 factor at 1, and thats why i use it at 1. Sometimes i use it at 10.000 too lol.
I dont see any problem, when you use photometric lights you might wanna use it at 1 because is easier to setup IES, but other than that you can stick with 10,000 if you're used to.
The problem is XSI is built to work with 10000 value, so as you might have noticed the lights values work with that, exponential, falloffs, etc since we cant have a good MR implementation anymore (because you must not do archviz with xsi its forbidden) and i doubt it ever gonna happen, you need to avoid this tryin to balance and decide what you wanna smash your head with, cm^2 factor 1, or 10k? With 1 you have easy setup with photometric and crappy setup with XSI default lights, with 10k you have crap photometric and easy built in xsi lights.
Dont forget also that photoshop is your best friend, the render itself was warmed and brightened with curves and contrast a lot.
No one render an image like this straight out of 3d packages when i can gain time i dont use 3d, tweaking MR is the most horrible thing ever existed in 3D world, so i try to use it the less and do curves post processing in Ps.
Other than that i can assure you that this image was pretty straight forward to create in terms of lights, i would love to make a tutorial for archviz purpose free of course on building a similar interior from scratch, but i feel there are more skilled people than me so nobody wants to learn from me i guess

i'm a bit shy.
I dunno how to help you, ask me further if this didnt help, to me is kinda easy to use sky/sun setup and photometric in xsi, maybe because i wasted 5 years on learning Mental Delay.
Gonna check the thread and see if you need help and sorry for half rant, i hate MR
/peace Max.
p.s. i might find the courage to make a tutorial <.<