Users of Arnold should be banned

Great renders though. Love the shadows.
I had a look at some SSS shading (something I've amazingly enough never really used) prior to the room scene.
Prepped the mental ray version first. Settled for this look:

Then tried to get something similar - landed with this after loads of struggle:

The mr SSS shader seemed overwhelming (more stuff to adjust) but I was able to get something after just few minutes. The VRay SS however - far less parameters yet no idea whats going on because I feel like I'm walking on fragile ice as if whatever tweak I do, is on the verge to break. For instance, I used a stretched ball (scaling was frozen afterwards) while I was prepping the shader, to gain a bit speed with preview renders. Looked perfectly fine with smooth shading and all.Tthen I render this and I'm getting hard lines. Barely any SSS effect.. just looks wrong and so flat.
I'm currently doing some brute force renders of the room.
mental ray (number off samples could have been higher - but it's just for reference)

and VRay with brute force as prim and light cache with 2500 subdivs as secondary.

I haven't bothered matching the look at all yet. Was in a hurry when I worked on the scene

Very hard occlusion going on as if I have a classic lightsource in there. I don't have any.
Settings (Light Cache)
Passes: 8
Subdivs: 2500
Sample size: 1 (too high I suppose?)
Scale: World
Rest are default I think.
Suggestions?